The Ultimate Parent’s Guide to College Move-In: Game-Changing Tips That Will Save Your Sanity
After 6 college move-ins between them, experienced moms Meagan Wristen and Kirsten Maxwell share insider advice on navigating the emotional and logistical challenges of sending kids off to college. They cover practical strategies like shipping solutions for long-distance moves, coordinating with roommates on essentials, safety preparations, and meal planning tips (buy maximum swipes initially, then adjust). The conversation includes smart advice on joining parent Facebook groups for support, planning special visit weekends, encouraging campus involvement, and teaching essential life skills before departure.
Meagan Wristen
Welcome back to Her Travel Expert. We are so excited to talk about moving kids to college today because in just a few weeks, we are both moving our youngest kids to college. It will be the third time that each of us have had to do this. So whether we want it to be or not, I think we’re experts.
Kirsten Maxwell
I would agree. I think that once you do it multiple times, you qualify for expert status. And like you said, I think us both going now on our third child moving into college, we’re ready to share all the tips and tricks that we’ve learned. So hopefully you don’t make any of these mistakes.
Table of Contents
Every Town Has a Store with Things You Forgot
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, unfortunately, I’ve made all the mistakes. So this time is going to be flawless. I think maybe one of my top tips is every town has a store.
If you forget the trash can, if you forget whatever, guess what? They have it at the store. Now, are there going to be hundreds of other parents at the store and you’re going to be waiting in line?
Yes. Yes. So now, granted, when I moved my first kid to college, you couldn’t get Amazon delivery like you can get now. So that does make it a lot easier.
And then everybody has grocery store pickup now, too. So that’s, you know, you know, there are ways to get around waiting in line, but you might have to wait a day or two for delivery.
Kirsten Maxwell
Super helpful.
That’s true. And I would add on to that. We’ve had that problem with Tuscaloosa just being a town that has like one main store. It’s got a main Target. Everybody goes there. So you have to get creative and where you’re looking for things. So it might be the CVS. It might be the Home Depot. I mean, there are different stores that aren’t going to be your typical home stores, like even a Home Goods. I mean, we’ll have different supplies. So just keep that in mind that there’s always going to be another store that might have what you’re looking for if you can’t find it at your go-to.
Meagan Wristen
And that’s going to be more and more true the more that town is dependent on that college. Because I know where Noah went off to, Oregon State University, Corvallis is a city because they have a college there. I mean, I think the population drops by more than 50% when college isn’t in session. So you’re absolutely right. Everybody has a little bit of everything for these students.
Kirsten Maxwell
So tell me this year, what are you doing for getting everything? So Meagan’s youngest is going to Oklahoma. Mine’s heading off to Florida, but what are you doing then to help him move this go around? Like, what have you learned? What are you, maybe something you’re leaving behind this time that you thought you needed before, or maybe are you sourcing everything? Are you driving? How are you getting him there?
Day Trip vs. Overnight Move
Meagan Wristen
So we’re going to drive. From my door to his dorm is about two hours and 20 minutes. So that’s pretty easy. And that’s the way Noah was too. Eden was a little further.
So for her, we drove up, we started the move in and I stayed the night because it was just far enough that if we did forget anything, if we needed to do a few more things or whatever, I wanted to still be in town.
Jonah, I’m pretty sure it’s going to be ah day trip and we’ll take two cars up. He’ll have his own car full of his stuff and then whatever doesn’t fit in his car will be in my car. So we’ll, we’ll drive up and then hopefully everything goes great and I can just turn around and drive home the same day.
You know, I think if it’s four hours or further away, that’s not a day trip. That’s, yeah you need to book a hotel and hopefully you’ve booked a hotel way, way in advance.
Check for Local Events Happening at the Same Time
I will say one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was the hotel I booked in Austin.
Eden, my middle child, will be a senior at UT Austin this fall. And when I took her to Austin, I did not check Austin’s social calendar because why would you?
But the difference between moving and this will be the same for Jonah. I don’t really have to worry about this in Norman, Oklahoma. There are going to be no major events. But Austin, Texas is a major city in the United States and they have events all the time.
Did I think, oh, is there a major event that might conflict with moving her in? No, no, I did not. Well, it turns out that it was Pride Parade Day.
People fly in for this. This is a major event in Austin. They shut down several of the main streets. And so what I didn’t know is that her dorm is on this side of the street.
And I had booked a hotel down here on this side of the street. Getting from point A to point B took hours.
So I inadvertently just cost me hours and hours and hours that day. Now, As soon as the parade was over, within a couple of hours, all the streets are open back up and it’s fine. The next day it was no big deal. We’re zipping right around. But boy, that first day was brutal.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. And we’ve had similar situations when we dropped off Gavin at Alabama. Granted it was our first born. So we kind of didn’t, Oh, we’re going to leave. No, we don’t want to leave.
And it was nine hours away. So to your point, like we knew we were staying overnight, but then we also built in like an extra four days at the beach (Gulf Shores) so we could zoom back around and check and make sure he was all settled. And of course the time we come through that he’s to see if he’s settled,
He wanted nothing to do with us. By that point, he’s like, I’m out.
You guys do your thing. Nice to see you. Hit the road. Talk to you later. And then it’s just kind of one of those things where, to your point, if if it’s a really busy city, you do want to be aware of those things. And same goes for, and this is future you listening to this, graduation.
Book Hotels Way in Advance
Same thing. If there are other events that are going to happen, family weekend football. It’s going to be crazy. If you want to go book your tickets way in advance. Our football for parents weekend this year is the UT/Florida game, which why would you choose that weekend of all weekends? The tickets are $400 for parents.
It’s super crazy. It’s a top football game, two massive schools. So we won’t be going to parents weekend. We will find another weekend to visit and we will be good with that. I recommend that too.
Meagan Wristen
So I did, I did one parents weekend.
I paid a disgusting amount of money for a not nice hotel everywhere we went was crowded. And that was my first and my last time to do parents weekend. And then I only visited at other times.
This year for Noah’s graduation, he graduated in June. I slept on the floor at his apartment in the or his house.
And yes, his roommates were there too because i did not book a hotel a year out. And so i was like, I can’t believe this. So I’ve already started looking for a hotel for Eden’s graduation, which will be and May, like nine months. And guess what?
We will not be staying in Austin. We will be staying in a nearby suburb is the closest I can get. Or we’ll be on the floor at her apartment.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Been there, done that. We had to do that for graduation too. We stayed at a not my favorite hotel chain and probably paid about $700 night for a room that typically is $150 a night.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, the the Best Western in the town that he graduated in was $1,700 a night. I was like, no. I would rather rent you a check for $1,700 and sleep on your floor.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, it’s a scam. It’s a scam.
Plan in advance, plan in advance. So you you heard it here first. Learn from us, learn from our mistakes. Don’t do that. The one thing, go ahead.
Meagan Wristen
Well, oh, and that kind of goes for making like a breakfast reservation or, again, you have all these people in town, so maybe…
If you can, if if you can find a place that will take a reservation for your family for dinner ah ah breakfast, even if you don’t use it, I now make reservations for all kinds of stuff.
So when we went to college orientation, we had a lunch reservation. It turned out we didn’t need one, but I wasn’t sure. So, and we are, already have our reservation for dinner the night I move in the day we move in.
What to Bring
Kirsten Maxwell
Okay, good. good Yeah. And to follow up my initial question about one thing that you didn’t bring or you thought you should have, you know, brought or packed for you for your kid when you move there. The one thing that comes to mind for me, and especially being here in the South is Damp Rid.
So for those of you who are not familiar, it is a good thing for humidity in the rooms because they are susceptible to mold, especially here in the South. It’s gross, it’s damp.
And those rooms are just like closets and they get all the moisture and yuck in it. So Damp Rid is just a bag. You hang in the closet and it kind of soaks up all the moisture in the air and helps keep the air clean. You also need an air purifier and usually a dehumidifier too. So just depending on where you go, granted Northern schools, I’m not talking to you, but Damp Rid, game changer.
Meagan Wristen
And Florida dehumidifiers, I mean, you have to
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, right. How can you not?
Meagan Wristen
We were stationed there for a couple of years and it ran and ran. Never stopped.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yep. Yeah, you need one of those,
Meagan Wristen
That’s interesting. I wouldn’t have thought about that. I’ve been more just, really focus on anything that saves space. So I don’t, like he’s not going to take an iron and an ironing board.
Instead, he’ll take a small travel steamer. And that’s just saves a ton of space.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s a great tip too. I’ve seen that as a more popular item lately is the smaller travel steamers, because especially if you have a daughter and you have sorority rush, you need a steamer to steam their clothes. Same with guys don’t typically use it, but they might need it for rush to, you know, they have that collared shirt wadded up in the corner. Guess what?
You can only get so much of the wrinkles out if you put it in your bathroom. So get a little handheld steamer and show them how to use it before they go.
Meagan Wristen
One of the things that I did not think about, but when we got there, like Noah realized within the first week of school that he needed a blazer because he would be going to different events.
And that wasn’t rush related. That was purely school related. I was like, oh no. Like, so then we ended up going blazer shopping. Luckily he was only two hours from me. So I was able to pop pop down and but he had never shopped for that before. We just hadn’t had the need. I mean, Oregon’s very casual, so he had never needed a suit or anything.
So we didn’t have one. But Jonah’s already said he’s had a suits for years, so because Texas is a little more than that.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. And to your point, I mean, why would you think you need one, but you know, kids do, they do different clubs, activities, they have formal events. They’re going to want to have a blazer.
The other thing that I think they need is, rain gear, depending on where you go. And even, i know it’s the middle of summer here in Texas, but sending sweatshirts and blankets with your kids because dorm rooms can be really cold.
So make sure they’re covered with that. The rain gear, super important. I mean, depends, I guess, on where you are, but I’m sure in Oregon, it was, you just automatically brought it. wheat Florida gets a ton of rain, especially during hurricane season.
We talk about that later, but all the things that you don’t think about, like putting in right now because it’s summer, send the winter clothes. They will find a place to put them and they will put them to use.
Meagan Wristen
Well, that’s how was just, I ordered today the hangers that you can hang like 10 things on one. He’s lucky. Eden didn’t have a true closet in her dorm room. She ended up in a dorm that he was like half renovated, which happens more than you would think Jonah’s roommate’s already there so we’ve seen the room and he has a full closet and he has a door that shuts which is great that’s my first kid to have a closet with the door so only can he use the hangers that drop down i got a shoe holder for the back of the door so i can stick all his shoes whereas with the other kids, I think I did like a shoe rack across the bottom of their little space so they could at least stack shoes, but we didn’t, we didn’t have the ability to hang as much stuff as what we’ll be able to. do So having a closet is really awesome.
Not All Dorm Rooms Are the Same
Kirsten Maxwell
It is. And it’s funny. ah ah As you’re saying this, I’m thinking we’ve had one kid had his room. That was his own bedroom. It was four of them and they shared a bathroom. The next one had four of them, but two of them shared one bathroom, two shared the other bathroom, but they had their own closets outside of the room, even like a little open up the walk-in closet.
Now my last one is the first one who’s actually sharing a room and the room is, I kid you not, it’s like 10 x 11, super tiny. No closet, and but they have a kitchen and a common area. And it’s four of them sharing one bathroom.
So again, all the things, they they come in different shapes and sizes.
I would also say when it comes to dorms, make sure you do your research because there are so many XYZ factors when it comes to what works for your kid – the age of dorms, location, and availability.
When we were at Arkansas, freshmen got first choice of dorms. The upperclassmen were, if there was anything left. At Florida, upperclassmen get first choice of dorms. And some of the freshmen are having to get apartments off campus because they ran out of dorm space.
So just kind of maybe do your research ahead of time and know about the university, what they’re going to have available if you want your kid to to this stay on campus.
Meagan Wristen
We have rarely had the dorm situation work out the way we wanted. Noah ended up in a triple. So it’s that standard tiny room, except they shoved three people in it, which was just awful, which we didn’t request.
So typically, if you need to save money, that is a great way to save money. He was on the the post 9-11 GI Bill his freshman year.
We didn’t need to save any money. So he would have liked to have had a normal, like just one roommate, not two, but that’s how it worked out. And then one thing that was shocking for me, and I’m old school and I’m from the bell Bible Belt and I went to Texas Tech. And so when we chose his dorm, I did not know that it was going to be co-ed.
When I found out it was co-ed and I was like, well, I don’t, I don’t love it. And, uh, I know a lot of people don’t think that’s a big deal. I thought it was a huge deal. And I thought, well, at least it’ll be like one floors, guys, one floors, girls.
No, no. One side of the hall was guys and one side of the hall was girls. So, you know, I’m carrying stuff up to his room and I’m like, why are all these girls up here?
I did not like that. So that those are some things to ask about. So then when Eden went to college, I’m like, you’re going to the all girls dorm. No choice. And she was in the all girls dorm and I was very happy.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah it’s funny. I don’t even think about that. But I mean, I was in an all girls dorm in college, too. So ninth floor, but hated it because the boys thought it’d be fun to pull fire drills all the time.
Meagan Wristen
I was in an all girls dorm, both years I lived in the dorm.
So I think that’s the way it should be. I don’t know what that says about me. Take it for what it is. But, and then Jonah, we, uh, he had three roommates picked out.
We thought he was going to get the apartment style. Two of them got it. And the other two didn’t, they did not get paired together.
So he’s just going to be in a regular dorm. Not in the building. We thought not even on the section of campus. We thought, and we got what we got.
Kirsten Maxwell
Wow, that’s fun.
Parent’s Emotions Leaving Kids at College
Meagan Wristen
I know. So um how are you feeling about taking that third, third last child to college?
Kirsten Maxwell
You know, it’s a really weird stage of life, right? Like you get ready, you’re like, oh, emptiness. And then like, oh no, I got my oldest one coming back home and living with me. And I love him because he’s in the other room listening, but…
Meagan Wristen
I want my oldest to come home and move back. That jerk. He’s like, oh I don’t want to live there. I’m like, you are selfish. You don’t love me.
Kirsten Maxwell
Come back, I’ll save you money.
Meagan Wristen
Because I’m a single mom. I’m just by myself. But people are like, oh, are you so sad? ah ah you know, are you holding up? I’m like, I feel fine. I’m going to Turks and Caicos two days after I drop him off.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Right. See, I think that’s where you and I are very similar. I’m like, bye-bye. I’m going off to all these different trips this fall because i don’t want to be home. And I have a built-in dog sitter. So, I win.
Kirsten Maxwell
So, not super sad.
Meagan Wristen
I know you’re going to France.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. And Turkey. So, I’m going have a fun time.
Meagan Wristen
That’s a great way to deal with it. Plan something fun.
Kirsten Maxwell
Just leave. Just leave. It’s a great.
Meagan Wristen
You know what? You can cry on a beach or you could cry at home.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, that’s right. Why do need to be at home?
And he’s coming home for a big football game in October. So I feel like, you know, we have dates on the calendar and I guess that’s maybe another tip – schedule out some dates. I wouldn’t say like, go visit him two weeks after you move them in, but six weeks, parents weekend’s? It’s good if you want to manage the crowds, but, you know, just give yourself time to touch base with them. I would say once during the first semester, whether it’s them coming home or you going there.
Plan a Special Visit
Meagan Wristen
Well, you’ve done something with your boys that I did not do with my kids, where you go out for the weekend and you cook a meal and talk about that, because I think that’s really clever.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Yeah. I, you know, that was something i started with my oldest. It was just, it was so nice to go spend a weekend. I’d rent a condo in Tuscaloosa because you can find those pretty much in every town, just, you know, Vrbo or Airbnb. And I had a kitchen, so I thought, why not cook for his friends? So it started freshman year, I went out and cooked some meals.
I mean, the first time it was like dinner/breakfast/dinner. I mean, it was several meals because that’s how you get to know the kids they’re hanging out with. And it just kind of start built into a routine where I try to do it once a year, go out, hang out with all the friends, make a meal. Because these kids love a home cooked meal. I wasn’t making anything fancy. I think I did chili one time, spaghetti, fajitas. I mean, easy to make and just something that everybody appreciated. And I appreciated getting to know his new friends.
Meagan Wristen
So speaking of cooking, one of the mistakes realized is that I did not have Noah cook enough before he left for college. So then I had the other two chefing it up. I mean, like, you got to make a meal once a week.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s what you’re going to do. Good. That’s super smart. I love that because I feel my kids are deficient with this.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah. so Eden’s cooked a ton the last couple of years. And I think Jonah will be raring to go with that as well.
Kirsten Maxwell
And that’s where I’m falling short, where I have Gavin is the one who can cook. That’s my oldest. And then my youngest is like, I have no idea what I’m doing. Can you make some eggs for me?
Like eggs, eggs, these are easy here. You know, it’s like crack it, you know, but yeah, I’m getting on it.
Meagan Wristen
Girl, you got like a week left. Y’all can be cooking every day.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s on the schedule. What meals are we cooking? I, even last night, Gavin told me, he’s like, I’m going to get out my air fryer. I’m going to make this pasta dish. I’m like, go. If you want to cook once a week, please, by all means, I will buy the groceries and save me a a time at the stove and you know doing the dishes and all the things. So I vote yes.
Plan a Few Weekend Visits Home
Meagan Wristen
So, you’re probably having to plan out visits a lot more thoroughly than us. So, one of the things that I prefer my kids to do is try and get all their classes either have a four-day week or a three-day week and shove all those classes when Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Monday through Thursday.
So, they have a constant three-day or four-day weekend. So, Jonah is going to end up his first semester having a four-day weekend. So… And he can just pop home. I mean, he can just drive home.
But i mean, how far of a drive your son can’t move home.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, that’s really interesting because I didn’t think about it that way. But Gavin, for his first, I think, three years, never had a class on a Friday. was like, I don’t know how you manage that. With my schedule in college, it was luck of the draw.
This is when the class is. You’re going to take it. And then Ronan just came back with his schedule and he doesn’t have classes on Monday and he gets done Fridays at 11. So basically he he can come home and just be home for the weekend and long weekend.
Granted it’s 14 hours driving. So we’re not popping in all the time, but it’s an easy direct flight. So he can fly here if he needs to, or I can fly there.
Yeah, I think that is a good tip to just kind of when they’re making their schedule. And again, it’s not going to work out every time, but if they can find an extra day on either end to make a little bit of a longer weekend, why not?
Meagan Wristen
Figure out that main airline you’re going to be flying, sign up for their frequent flyer account, start building those miles.
And because, I mean, if your kids flying, like for us, we’re both near a DFW airport, so we both fly American a ton. And that was one of the things when I moved here was I immediately switched because I i had Delta and Alaska being in the Pacific Northwest. I immediately switched to American Airlines and started building that because the more you fly them, the quicker your status grows and it’ll make the airport experience a little easier for you, so.
Kirsten Maxwell
And ours is really spoiled because we have a credit card with lounge privileges. So we just added him to our credit card so he can build his credit history.
And he also gets the benefit of using the lounge when he flies out a day of DFW.
Meagan Wristen
That’s perfect. And honestly, it’s going to save you money if he’s like grabbing meals in the lounge instead of paying at the airport.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, way cheaper.
Meagan Wristen
The other day, how much did we pay for Taco Bell in the Dominican, in the Punta Cana airport?
$60 for Taco Bell for the four us.
Kirsten Maxwell
What? Oh my gosh.
Meagan Wristen
And that was cheaper than the Wendy’s. And I’d like to tell you that we ate like kings, but we did not. I had a burrito.
Kirsten Maxwell
One bean burrito for you and one drink. That’s all you can. That’s funny.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, when I was trying to pay, I was like, I’m sorry, how much? i was like, hmm, I feel like you marked that up, so.
Moving Stuff Long Distance
Kirsten Maxwell
I have to go back because remembered I forgot to say how we’re getting all of Ronan’s stuff to school because, like I said, 14 hours.
Okay. Husband wanted to drive. And I’m like, great. 14 hours one way, but we have to still come back 14 hours. And that means I have 14 hours I got to spend with you in the car.
And I love you, but that doesn’t sound like fun to me. So I convinced him to drive. But what we’ve been doing, I mean, fly, sorry, not drive, is we’re going to use a company called Ship Play. And we’ll put it in the show notes. It’s S-H-I-P. And then I think, yeah, P-L-A-Y.
And what we’re doing is we’re going to ship our bags ahead, two bags, and it’s about $150 and they’re going to just ship them and we will pick them up at our hotel. They’ll drop them at our hotel in Gainesville.
So that goes ahead. We already flew out once for orientation and my nephew lives there. So I left a bag with him too.
You have to use your friends. We’ve been the, the house destination for friends who have kids going to TCU or SMU who just need a place to drop stuff because they don’t want to be running around all the stores the day they get here.
So, you know, if you have a friend in the city where your child’s going to school, by all means, reach out to them. I mean, I’m happy to do reciprocate for people. And I know a lot of people will just say, find a corner in their garage and put your stuff there and keep it until you’re ready for it.
Join the College’s Parent Facebook Group
Meagan Wristen
Another way to connect with people is there’s parent groups for the colleges. So I’m in a parent group for UT. I was in a parent group for OSU.
I haven’t joined one yet for OU, but I guess that’s on my to-do list this week. That way, like something does come up and you need help with something, you could pop it in that Facebook group and you’d be shocked. Like you’re, all these parents are in the same boat. They want to help each other out. People are visiting at different times and you’d be surprised what you can figure out just through a tiny bit of networking through a Facebook group.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, and that’s that’s a great tip too because we’ve used the Facebook group for finding rides back and forth between Arkansas and DFW because I didn’t send my son with a car.
So he had to find a way to get home. And those groups are great for matching you up with someone who might have a kid coming home that weekend. You reach out say, hey, my kid wants a ride. And nine times out of 10, it works out. So just remember to some of those things in those groups, don’t get attached to people running around like chicken with their head cut off, like, Oh my God, they can’t do this.
I mean, because that will happen. People will put stuff out on social media that’s just simply not true. And so you really have to go through it with a fine tooth comb and make sure you’re reading the everything and getting confirmation that that is indeed the right story.
Meagan Wristen
Yes, like know the OSU group, somebody said the campus is on lockdown. There’s a live You know what? That was not true.
It was not true. So I’m like texting Noah. I’m like, you good? You good? like And this is when he lived on campus. And he’s like, what are you talking about? I’m like, okay, it’s nothing.
Kirsten Maxwell
Right. And that’s something serious. My niece is at Florida state. And so when they had the shooter there, they were all on lockdown, but they were getting some of their news from social media.
But it wasn’t true. I mean, it said there were multiple shooters. So it’s like you have, and again, I hate that we’re even talking about this, but just your kids need to be aware of their surroundings. And we can even talk more about that and just, you know, them being in a new college town and how do you encourage them to be safe and get connected so that you feel safe at home. So what do you do with your kids?
Safety Tips
Meagan Wristen
Well, a couple of different things. So depending which campus, they have an alert system. So everybody signs up for it. I sign up for it. They sign up for it. So UT has a great system for, I mean, if your kid needs a ride for some reason, maybe they’ve had too much to drink. I mean, my perfect angels would never, but they’ll come get you. And they had Uber credits. And I know for me, it was, my daughter is very small. And so I do worry about her safety.
And so when she decided to move off campus, which I wanted her to do two years on campus and she did not. So we found like the closest apartment to campus we could just to reduce, you know, i didn’t want her walking 20 minutes one way. was one thing for my son to walk 20 minutes one way. I felt like it was not the same for her.
She has a five minute walk and I pay more for that privilege.
Yeah. So stuff like that. I mean, Also send them with their first aid kit. I mean, you think about all the things they might need, Band-Aids, Tylenol, you know, just little, look there’s all these little things you don’t think about and then you just need it and like save them a trip to CVS if they’ve already got it.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, I think, you know, I was going to ask if you do Life 360 with your kids. So, okay, well, there you go.
Meagan Wristen
No, I stalk them on Snapchat map.
Kirsten Maxwell
So, I mean, that’s another thing. But you know where your kids are. I think that was the hardest thing for me in the beginning is my kid did not want Life 360 and I respected that. But how do I get a hold of him if I can’t reach him? So it’s kind interesting.
I think maybe that was also the reason for me going in and meeting his friends. Now I know somebody there, or I can reach out to them on Instagram and be like, Hey, haven’t heard from Gavin in a couple of days. You know, have you seen him around kind of thing? Very discreet.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, it’s a it’s a reasonable request that you know the roommate’s phone number.
It’s a reasonable request that you know the RA’s phone number, who is like the dorm hall person.
You know, these are all reasonable things. and It’s not outrageous for a parent to ask this.
So, you know, if your kid’s like, oh, you’re being ridiculous. No, you’re not. No, you’re not.
That was perfectly reasonable. I will say moving Noah to college was super scary. His epilepsy was not well controlled. And so I was very nervous. So it was a much higher priority to me to know where is the clinic?
Where, where can you see a doctor? Here are three doctors that you could go see. Where’s urgent care? Where’s the ER? Like,
We got him a medical a medical bracelet, which he had never worn before because everybody knew him where we were at.
And now part ah ah now part of the reason he chose go to OSU is because so many of the people he knew were going there.
And he he felt like that was safer for him.
And that if he did have an issue, somebody would know him and get him help. And so, but it was just, you know, that was very, i wanted his roommates educated on like his emergency medications.
Here’s what you do. Absolutely call 911. Like, you know, so that’s kind of a weird circumstance, but, you know, probably all the kids should know where’s urgent care.
Where’s the ER? You know, how does the clinic work on campus?
Because they don’t all work the same.
You know, at UT, I think Eden doesn’t see the doctor at UT and we don’t pay for a medical fee because, They do it different and they take your insurance and it’s not, when I went to tech, I paid a fee and I could go to the clinic anytime I wanted and I could get a prescription. And I don’t think that I paid for it beyond that fee, but that was not something that she has access to.
So instead we found a primary care physician for her in Austin.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. and And now that you’re saying that, I’m thinking, so Ronan has, as you know, a nut allergy and so does Eden. But I mean, even just telling their roommate like, hey, this is a situation because I hadn’t thought about, but I probably do need to let the roommate know he has a nut allergy, so like no eating and touching everything with peanut butter all over the room kind of thing, unless you want to get him to the hospital, because that’s what you’re going to be doing. To your point – they need to know where the hospital is.
How do they get, you know, to um go go to urgent care, the student health center? Because some of them are, you know, you make your appointments and it takes a week. Others are you could be walk in and go the same date.
Ronan is going to do allergy shots through school. So we had to learn how to transfer all of his allergy vials from here to Florida. There are just things that you don’t always think about, but when you have a kid that has medical issues, they certainly come to the forefront of like, you want to make sure those things are checked off.
Make sure you contact the student health center ahead of time. If your child has like a medication need or something that you’re worried they wouldn’t have there available for them should they need it.
Preparing Them to Handle Things For Themselves
Meagan Wristen
And one of the things I did senior year of high school is you’re going to take yourself to the doctor. I’m not going to go with you. and And then if they need to FaceTime me from the doctor’s office and ask how to fill out the paperwork, that’s fine.
But they have to do it themselves. They have to get their prescription filled, paid for, and picked up.
And they have to do it all by themselves. And that might sound silly, there are all these kids that are never taught to do any of this. So, you know, and if you just have them do it one time, that’s all ah that’s all really all you need to do.
A little bit of information goes a long way. So yeah, and I would show his roommate how to use an EpiPen.
And this and that and this. it is I mean, it’s a lot. Like that the day you move them in, it’s a lot. like
And people are like, oh, do you do you unpack over a couple of days? No, not really.
We go in and just try and pound it out and just have it. Like I want my goal is to have everything done that day. That way everything I’ve forgotten can be taken care of the next day.
Kirsten Maxwell
And that goes to like, maybe you do give yourself an extra day there when you move them in, because they’re so busy that first day of setting everything up that sometimes you don’t realize till the next day, oops, this is what I missed.
So yeah, give yourself a buffer either way. And I’m telling you, maybe you need to do this too. Cause like to drive up and back, i’m like, wow, that is very brave of you. It’s not that far either.
So you could, you know, run something up next week if you need to, or, have delivered.
Meagan Wristen
Well, I’m like, it’s my third time. I’m going to such a great job. But you know what? Because it is my third time. Do you think I’ve even bought sheets yet? No.
Kirsten Maxwell
Oh, come on.
Meagan Wristen
Like, we went to Target the other day and like, I feel the sheets and I was like, nah, no.
Kirsten Maxwell
I haven’t even done that.
Meagan Wristen
I was trying to figure out where where else to go because when the other two went off, Bed Bath & Beyond was open.
And I could just go through Bed Bath & Beyond and get everything I needed in one stop. Like, yeah, so you know where I’m going to go?
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. No, not anymore.
Meagan Wristen
And it’s it’s on our to-do list this week is they reopened like a JCPenney’s home store near us.
Yeah, so we’re going to go hit that. And hopefully, i will.
Kirsten Maxwell
yeah Okay. Let me know what you find. Finger crossed.
Meagan Wristen
know, hopefully it’s good. I went to, I saw a TikTok about Dirty Dillard’s, which is a Dillard’s clearance center.
Kirsten Maxwell
I heard that.
Meagan Wristen
So, okay, so there’s one not far from, it’s in between where you and I live.
Kirsten Maxwell
What is that?
Meagan Wristen
So I went to it and it is all clearance, but the home section wasn’t that good.
Kirsten Maxwell
We’re going to do it. Awesome. I’m on it.
Meagan Wristen
but i and And I would have had to have had Jonah with me to like pick stuff out. I’m not going to pick up stuff.
But yeah, and it’s all clearance and it’s it was really good deals.
Kirsten Maxwell
Awesome. yeah Sign me up.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah. I mean, they don’t call it dirty dillards, but
Kirsten Maxwell
No, but TikTok does.
Meagan Wristen
ands It’s actually called Dillard’s clearance. Sorry, Dillards.
Kirsten Maxwell
yeah Sorry. We love you, Dillards.
Meagan Wristen
Let’s see. You ask what are I plan or anything i I took with the other two that I ended up bringing home.
I don’t think so. do think it’s important to coordinate with the roommate. Like, are you bringing a microwave? Are you, we got kind of lucky this year because Jonah’s roommate is a football player and he isn’t going to play football at OU, but he is a, like an equipment manager.
So he has been there with the team.
So he’s, we already moved into the room. So we got videos and so he showed up with a mini fridge, a microwave, a rug.
He’s living there like a month longer than Jonah. He didn’t want to wait a month to get a microwave or whatever. so
Kirsten Maxwell
I can’t blame them. That’s the funny thing is that now these kids are connecting with roommates ahead of time on Instagram. So Ronan found his roommate through Instagram and I’ve since made contact with the mom and we were kind of talking about things to bring. Like I said, it’s a very small room. So she’s doing the rug because that’s super big. And I’m like, please do.
I’m bringing the nightstand table that goes between their beds because there’s only 18 inches of space between their two beds so they can hold hands while they’re sleeping. I don’t know, but you know, just trying to like have those conversations that I wasn’t able to have with the other kids roommates, but they didn’t need it. Cause they each had their own room within a set.
So now we’re sharing that space.
So it’s kind of like you said, you have to have those hangers that have like 10 things can hang on them and you know, so I’m gonna have to go check this out.
Meagan Wristen
Well, look at this lamp I bought, actually.
Kirsten Maxwell
Oh, nice. Yep.
Meagan Wristen
just got it in. so i bought this lamp. So it’s like a really small.
and it adjusts, and you can move it around.
And it’s got the built-in pencil holder, got a plug-in, and then it’s got a USB-C and a regular USB.
So I was like, I just knocked out, because like, now he can charge multiple, three things off of one desk lamp.
Kirsten Maxwell
perfect
Awesome.
Meagan Wristen
I’m like, all right, I felt pretty good about this purchase. I’m going to drop a link in the notes. Small lamp for dorm with charging outlets.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Good. And that reminds me, bring a surge protected electrical outlets. What is the word I’m looking for? You know what I’m talking about?
Power strip. Yeah, thank you. That’s the word was looking for. But bring a power strip because you’re going to have all these devices and not that many outlets. I think our room maybe has three different outlets in it.
So that’s very few for two people with all these electronics trying to compete.
And bring a small portable fan. So whether it’s a clip-on fan or some, you know, little plug-in or operates on batteries, every kid should have their own personal fan. And I’m not talking the big oscillating fan. I’m talking about the small, tiny,
Probably like almost the size of my microphone kind of fan, that’s what everybody should have because you’ll have those days it gets really hot in the winter because they put the heat up super hot. So
Meagan Wristen
One thing I did for Eden and then I ordered for Jonah is a little tiny white noise machine and it will also play music so it’s itty bitty but he was like I don’t want that he’s like I’ve got a waterproof speaker I’m like, Oh yeah, you could just use that.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well. they They don’t know until they don’t know, right?
Meagan Wristen
And then I already filled up his pencil holder with like pencils and pens i already had to around the house because I’m like, I’m not buying the stuff. i already got it. I was like, I an extra pair of scissors too. Here you go.
Kirsten Maxwell
I have another idea i just thought about that we should discuss. It’s meal plans, dining. What do you do with the meal plans during freshman year? are you I don’t know how, because every campus is different, right? So some have meal cards, some have certain restaurants where you can only use points for purchase.
Like you said, don’t have a, have a microwave in the room. Some don’t. I mean, we have a full kitchen. I mean, full kitchen in Ronan’s dorm. It has a stove, an oven, a refrigerator, full refrigerator, microwave.
So, I mean, how do you adjust what amount of money you’re spending?
Meagan Wristen
So we don’t have access to that, which was very disappointing.
Yeah. So he’ll, he will just have the mini fridge and the microwave in the room. And then, oh, you does this. You get so many swipes a week and then you have points to use.
And I hate it and it’s super complicated. And I’m just hoping when once he gets there, it makes perfect sense because when they describe it, I’m like, could you have made this more complicated?
But maybe once you’re doing it, it’s fine.
Kirsten Maxwell
I think that must be. It feels like that’s what most of them go for right now is that meal stipend points.
And I don’t get it, but the kids same too.
Meagan Wristen
The most swipes you can get a week is 14. And I’m like, 14 meals? My kid is a six meal a day kind of kid. First breakfast, second breakfast, first lunch, second lunch.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s funny. Yeah. Funny.
Meagan Wristen
You get the idea. I mean, he’s a growing boy, apparently.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. You gotta eat all the food.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah. Yeah, and so so then I’m like, well, how many points can we get and how many meals will there be? So I think we’re covered, but I was like, I bought the maximum amount of swipes and then the max amount of points.
Kirsten Maxwell
don’t know. Okay. good and
Meagan Wristen
And then if it’s too much, we can lower it.
But if it’s not enough to begin with, you’re going to be paying a lot out of pocket for some other stuff while you figure it out.
Kirsten Maxwell
Okay. And here’s my other thing I thought about what, how did you get your kids to become, and it may be, just a kid dependent thing. How did they, you encourage them to be involved in things on campus?
Because I think that for a lot of parents is a scary thing. You’re sending new your kid off. How are they going to meet friends? Tell me like what kind of things were offered by the universities and what did your kids find to get involved with?
Meagan Wristen
I really wanted my kids to rush because I rushed and I really liked it.
They have zero interest in that. So I’m about to be three for three. Nobody rushed. one thing I like about OU is that, so he’s moving in a little early. He didn’t have to move in for like six more days or something, but there’s a guy camp that you could pay for. And I’m hoping he just meets tons of people.
and figures it out.
I mean, he knows some of the kids that he’s going, already knows his roommate. They play football together the last four years. And then they have some other friends that are going there. So he loves to play pickleball. So he should, he should look for pickleball. He loves to work out. So he’ll definitely be at the gym. So I think, you you know, I think you play on what your kid is already interested in. And yes, they can come up with more diverse interest once they get there. But if you’ve got something that they’re kind of in, whether it’s video gaming or, I’m trying to think what Eden ended up joining. She, she has done different stuff, but her roommate did something super interesting and she’s a K-pop dancer.
And she wasn’t like a dancer in high school or anything, but she’s like in a club and does all this stuff with her club.
Kirsten Maxwell
Really? No way.
Meagan Wristen
And I was like, was like, wow, that’s so random.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s super cool.
Meagan Wristen
But a lot of these, ah lot of these colleges have like a hundred, 200, a thousand student organizations that they can be part of. So, yeah.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s awesome.
Meagan Wristen
Eden joined the newspaper for a while, so she met some people through that. and She’s a journalism major, so it was like something she was interested in. And then Noah was a gymnast all through high school and found a club team at OSU and eventually became the president of it. So, you know, although his freshman roommates were randomly assigned, he then met all these people through the gymnastics club and then all his roommates moving forward were from gymnastics club.
Kirsten Maxwell
love that.
Kirsten Maxwell
yeah And I think one thing that I like about a lot of the schools in the South is they do the one week, like you’re talking about of kind of a get to know kind of thing. I think they have frog camp, fish camp, the whole thing. At Alabama, Gavin did the honors college. They did what’s called Honors Action where they brought in the kids a week early. and they worked in the community.
And so they’re every day, they’re at a school painting, you know do it make building benches, whatever, you getting to know each other. And so those really were his core friendships, not only first year, but some of them lasted through all four years of school.
So, I mean, he did intramurals, he did a fraternity. So, I mean, those were things that He could meet people through, there’s a business fraternity. I know Florida where Ronan’s going, there are a ton of finance fraternities.
Fraternities is the loose word. They’re not really like that, but where if you want to be involved in the finance field, it’s very important for them to kind of get linked in with those people. And intramurals are a big thing there. I mean, when you’re in the South and you can be outside all the time, I mean,
volleyball is big there basketball is big so i think he’s going in with a mindset that that’s what he wants to do is get involved in some intramural stuff and make friends that way so yeah
Meagan Wristen
I know one thing Eden loved is they offered a program for freshmen and different different schools do it different ways. I know some of it’s you spend your first semester abroad with a small group.
Eden did a May term in Ireland with a small group and they take 20 freshmen. So she had to apply for it. It wasn’t guaranteed. And that was something that you had to find that very first semester. She found out about it. She applied, she was accepted. So then the next semester, she had a class once a week with all these kids.
through that semester, got to know them and then went to Ireland with them. So she’s really good friends with some of those kids still. And it’s been several years since they went.
So I think that’s a really neat opportunity. noah had zero interest in going abroad. He’s like, you have dragged me all over the world. Absolutely not. Like his primary reason for rejecting Texas Tech, my school, is because they they make you go abroad
You have to spend either one semester in Spain or one in Costa Rica.
It’s required.
Kirsten Maxwell
ah didn’t know that okay
Meagan Wristen
He was like, no.
Kirsten Maxwell
yeah Well, it’s funny.
I know that Florida State has a program where you study abroad for your freshman year and then you get in-state tuition for the next three years in Florida. So one of my friends, her daughter did that.
Meagan Wristen
Oh, what a great way to get in state.
Kirsten Maxwell
So, mean, but what a great opportunity. you get to study abroad and then you also get to have the benefit or your parents get the benefit or whoever’s paying for it of, you know, having to pay much less and on your tuition bill.
Meagan Wristen
So one of the things I was worried about was the out-of-state tuition because there are some states that have, they they won’t charge you out of state. like if so we’re in texas and used to oklahoma did not charge you out of state they do now and it’s and it’s not even a certain percentage it’s a hundred percent out of state and i was like dang i really don’t want to pay that i wonder if we could get in state well because he’s using part of the gi bill they’re waiving the out-of-state tuition because he’s a military kid so sometimes there’s ways to sometimes you can find a way to get the in state but it is difficult So, I mean, that’s something to keep in mind, though, when you’re college shopping is…
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Exactly. And that’s why Gavin went to Alabama. I mean, they based on his grades and his test scores, he basically, it ended up being like 2,500 semester for tuition.
So, I mean, you, you can’t touch that anywhere. I mean, even in Texas, I couldn’t touch that. So, we’re like, yep, you you can go to school there. And then Finn, when he went to Arkansas, my boys are all Choctaw and the tribe has a relationship with the University of Arkansas because it’s built on tribal land.
So they will give all Choctaw students in state tuition. So He was going.
Meagan Wristen
Oh my gosh, that’s great.
Well, and I think Arkansas used to waive out-of-state tuition for Texas kids, and now I think it’s to waive like 80%.
Kirsten Maxwell
I think so.Cause there’s too many of them.
It’s like a Oklahoma part two, you know? so it’s like, if you don’t want to be in Texas, they’re going to Oklahoma or Arkansas. So that’s good.
Good save money.
Meagan Wristen
Let’s see. What are some other life skills that they need to know the day they move in? Laundry.
Kirsten Maxwell
Laundry. Laundry. And I can’t believe they actually have a program called like Tide Laundry where they’ll come in, get your kids laundry, take it away, wash it and bring it back to them. I was like, oh no, we are not doing that. You’re going to learn to do your own laundry, sit through all the cycles.
But you have to know too, some schools, the kids are ferocious. And if you leave anything, like your underwear is going be on the floor, they’re tearing your stuff out of the dryers and they don’t care. so Make sure if your kid’s going to do laundry that they either sit there or they’re really on top of their timer so they know to get back on time so nobody else is kicking out of the units.
Meagan Wristen
you know what, now that you mentioned that, OU offers laundry service. And I was just like, yeah, right.
Not paying for that.
Kirsten Maxwell
No, thank you.
Meagan Wristen
But I remember when I moved into my dorm and my roommate just wasn’t washing her clothes. She rarely washed clothes. And I thought, what’s the deal? And finally she’s like, can you show me how to use the washer? I was like, you don’t know how to use a washer and a dryer.
Kirsten Maxwell
Right. Wow.
Meagan Wristen
I’m like, yeah, let’s go.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. That and telling your kids how how often to change their sheets. Like we send two sets of sheets so that they can swap them out. But, you know, some kids would go the whole semester and never change their sheets.
Meagan Wristen
Now, one thing I’ve seen, which I thought was interesting, is the rise of the Pinterest decorating the room, where they transform these dorm rooms into an immaculate bin-like.
Kirsten Maxwell
hotel basically
Meagan Wristen
I don’t do that.
Kirsten Maxwell
no well i and i think i mean you do have a daughter but like with boys i was always like hey throw a flag up on the wall throw a school banner on the wall done decor is done yeah your sheets match kind of and you know we’re not doing all the color coordinating it’s funny because Ronan’s girlfriend is going to Arkansas and she’s telling me, Oh, I have all this. And then my roommate has matching this and that. And I’m like, Oh my gosh. Like it is thing and I’m not here for it.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to do that.
Kirsten Maxwell
this is right. This is so true.
Meagan Wristen
This is some sort of unrealistic thing that has happened over the course of the last few years. And I’m like, why?
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. Social media.
Meagan Wristen
Because you know what? They’re going to have those extra long twin sheets. where are they Where are they going to use that next year?
Nowhere. Where are they going to use decorations again?
Kirsten Maxwell
Nowhere. Never.
Meagan Wristen
i mean, maybe they’ll reuse them, but maybe not because they’re going to be in apartment the next year. So ah will say, though,
uh the mattresses have always sucked no matter which dorm situation my kids were in so i get on that like a memory foam three mattress shopper makes a world of different
Kirsten Maxwell
Mattress topper. Yeah. And a mattress pad cover thing.
Meagan Wristen
yeah yeah cover and everything
Kirsten Maxwell
whatever you call that. Yeah. It’s just gross. It’s just gross. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of apartments, because, you know, a lot of people, when they leave the dorms, they transfer their kids into apartments. So then you have to think about the middle months of storage.
And so just keep that in mind, like whatever you’re taking with you now, are you bringing it back and make plans for that now? Cause that will be another busy weekend that they will try to charge you more money.
Where are you going what are you going to leave? do you have a place to keep it? Sometimes there’ll be friends that are staying for the summer, whatever, or you’re paying for a local storage facility. We ended up buying a condo because we see it as a good investment in Tuscaloosa.
And we were able to go through three years of not having to move in, move out, move in, move out. And so now that we still have that con condo, the association will rent it for us.
So we’re still making money on that condo, but it just, it depends on does the, A, do you have the money to do that? And B, does it make sense for the market in that town?
But a lot of college towns are good for investment. That’s actually what we did. I don’t think you even know this, but before we even got married, we bought an investment property near Arizona State so that we could have renters when we moved away.
Meagan Wristen
Okay, do you still have it?
Kirsten Maxwell
No, we ended up buying three different properties there, sold them all for probably 100% or more profit. So,
Meagan Wristen
I wish I had bought a place in Austin because the rent that we have paid is totally outrageous.
I mean, just totally outrageous.
Kirsten Maxwell
Ridiculous. Yeah.
Meagan Wristen
but prices went up so fast in Austin, it just…
Kirsten Maxwell
It was hard to stay on top of, that makes sense.
Meagan Wristen
Honestly, yeah. So, and then, and every year she’s been there, I’m like, should I buy something, anything?
And I just haven’t. So, so no, it’s a good idea.
I think if, you know, if you can afford it, then yeah.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. And you kind of got away between, like you said, what do you paying on rent? What, what would mortgage payment cost you You know, what’s the value in it? So, I mean, again, not for everybody, but it was something that we looked into. We looked into doing it in Fayetteville.
The market there is so saturated with high pricing because there’s a housing shortage. So, it was not worth it to buy a house there.
You know, not that we’ve really even considered it, but you kind of have to look at the market and see if it’s something that it would bear.
Meagan Wristen
I will say like one of the questions I ask at the Orient, like when we did the college visit at OU, I was like, well, what’s the average cost of like an apartment here? and they were like, oh, it’s a little high. I’m like, how high?
And they were like, it’s about 800 a month. I was like, I was like, that sounds amazing. Let me tell you what, Austin’s a lot more than that. i was like, was like, oh my gosh.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s right. That’s right.
Meagan Wristen
I was like, that’s so cheap.
Kirsten Maxwell
oh yeah. It’s
Meagan Wristen
And so it’s all about, i don’t know.
Kirsten Maxwell
all relative. Yeah.
Compared to what you’re you’ve already been getting.
Meagan Wristen
Has there been, did anyone give you a piece ah ah a good piece of advice before you drop Gavin?
Kirsten Maxwell
You know, trying to think. Not really. i think that looking back at it now, I think we needed to have a better conversation about what the expectations were on our end as far as communication, because for him, would have gone and ah ah month without even checking in. And so we kind of had to bring it back in and be like, okay, every Sunday you just need to put around time to check in with us.
And he wasn’t super good about that. And it was very stressful. I mean, cause you’re, You’re worried, like, are they okay? Are they making friends?
Are they eating? You know, all the things. And it’s like, you really need to just, you need to let them grow because that’s for them.
This is their time now, but you also need to convey to them how important it is to maintain a relationship with their parents. You know, like, don’t just call the parents in case of an emergency, like call and tell me how your day was. Like I ended up resorting to bribery at some point Like send me a photo of you on your first day of school and I will put a dollar in your, you know, whatever account.
Send me a picture of you at a football game. That’s another dollar. Me with your friends, that’s a $2, you know? So so somebody at Alabama came up with this like scavenger hunt thing for like, send this to your kids the first day of school. And I was like, yep, view whatever you can check off this list picture-wise, I will pay you for those. like So it’s just having that open line of communication with your kids about expectations.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, I had to take a chill pill because, you know, leave leaving Noah, I was very, very scared.
Kirsten Maxwell
How about you? How about you?
Meagan Wristen
And, you know, I was like, what are we going to do if this doesn’t go well? Because I didn’t know if he could realistically live somewhere without us.
He did fine. But i was I checked in every day for a long time. I wanted to know every single day, you good?
How you feeling?
Kirsten Maxwell
Right.
Meagan Wristen
No issues?
Like, were seizure-free? Awesome.
So it was more of me, like I needed to calm down.
So nobody warned me how horrific it was to leave your first child at college. I was like, I was like, why didn’t you tell me that it was like someone ripped my heart from my chest and threw it on the ground and ran it over.
Why? And then, but then I’m like, is it because he’s kind of sick? And so I’m so paranoid and scared that it was that bad. But then I’ve had other friends that after I told them that, that it was so horrific, they’re like, you’re right.
That was horrible. I was like, okay, so it’s not just me.
But, but then when I left Eden, I was like, bye.
Kirsten Maxwell
was going to be my next comment. It like, first one hard. Like I got home, I shut the door to his room. i didn’t want think about it. We’re done. Number two, buh-bye. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Now we’re three. I’m like, I think I’m to be a little bit sad because you know, he he and I have spent all this time now together without his brothers at home.
And so it’s like, we have a different kind of relationship than I had with the first one. So,
Meagan Wristen
Yeah, I mean, it’s just been Jonah and I for the last three years. I mean, so I was like, oh, I got to make some new friends.
Kirsten Maxwell
Time to change. i Time for new things, mom.
Meagan Wristen
Maybe I’ll get a boyfriend.
Kirsten Maxwell
There you go. No.
Meagan Wristen
I’ll just travel more.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s right. That’s always the answer. when in doubt, just travel.
Meagan Wristen
just negotiating a trip and they were like, could you do more than three days? i was like, yeah, I can stay as long as you want me to.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yes, I can. week? A month? I’m moving in.
Meagan Wristen
I’m like, as long as I’m in the country, why don’t i do three or four nights at every property you work with?
Kirsten Maxwell
There you go. Perfect. Why not? I’ll just hit them all.
Meagan Wristen
Nobody cares where I am.
Kirsten Maxwell
Some days they do. Some days people will check in on you. And that’s the thing. What do you do in case of an emergency when you’re traveling and your kids in school? cause I know people talk about this even when your kids away at summer camp.
They don’t want to leave the country because what if something happens their kids? I mean, do you have a contingency plan for if something happens? goes AWOL and you’re not there it doesn’t have to be you’re out of the country like what if you can’t get there yeah yeah well there’s that yeah
Meagan Wristen
You know, I should. I mean, they do have a dad. They can call him, but he he travels for work as well. So there have been times where we were both.
I have been, I’ve had one of my children complain, you’re in the country and so is dad. And we didn’t know.
Now, I have had one of the kids complain that I was out of the country at the same time as their dad. And they’re like, y’all are both out of the country. What if I needed something? I’m like, but you didn’t. But my sister, you know, they could they could call my brother.
They could call my sister. Like, they could call you.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. Yeah. And I think that just goes back to the whole, like, make sure you have that conversation with them.
Like, I am going to want to know how to get ahold of you. I’m going to tell you who to call if I’m not available. I mean, so just make sure those conversations are had before you send them off into the the next a version of themselves.
Meagan Wristen
But that’s where it really pays to make sure they got a lot of life skills. Like they know how to take themselves to the doctor because it won’t matter if you’re in the country because they were able to take care of it all by themselves.
So I think I, you know, and i I don’t want to knock on any parents.
It’s hard to raise a child and it’s hard to give them all the skills that they need, but you are not doing your child a favor when you do everything for them.
Kirsten Maxwell
Amen.
Meagan Wristen
And the older they get, the less you should be doing and the more that they should be doing.
And that just, you know, you’re going to make a more successful adult when you empower them to be an adult.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s right.
Two more things that I just thought of when you were talking about that. Other life skills that they should have. Financial. Like that they know what things cost, what kind of money they have, and kind of how to balance their spending because otherwise they’ll find themselves in trouble.
Financial Tips
Don’t let them get a credit card.
Meagan Wristen
Yes. They’re going to do it anyway.
Kirsten Maxwell
Top of the list.
Meagan Wristen
They’re going to do it behind your back.
Kirsten Maxwell
They are. And mine has.
Meagan Wristen
They’ll do it.
Kirsten Maxwell
And I got I don’t know what he was thinking because the credit card came to my house. I’m like, not going to happen.
And then the next one is time management. If they have bad time management skills, like from the get go, tell them like this is different than high school. Nobody is organizing your time for you.
Set Studying Expectations
You need to be setting aside when you’re doing your studying, when you have your play done, like get the work done. Don’t let it sit until midnight on Sunday night when it’s due. Like just get it done.
Maybe it’s going to the library after your class or in between classes and getting the assignments done. But time management skills, financial literacy, two big ones.
Meagan Wristen
Also, your butt better be in that chair. You better be attending class.
Kirsten Maxwell
yeah That’s right. They won’t all the time, but we can hope.
Meagan Wristen
That’s where it’s nice to be able to track them.
So I look on the Snapchat map and I’m like, you’re not at school.
Kirsten Maxwell
You in class?
Meagan Wristen
You’re at your girlfriend’s house. Why are you at your girlfriend’s house?
Kirsten Maxwell
Not at school. Not at school. That’s funny. Okay. Anything else that we want to cover? I feel like we’ve done this topic. Hopefully people found it useful because we’ve had a lot of great tips that I wish I had heard before I sent my kids off to school. So yeah.
Mental Health
Meagan Wristen
I think mentally it’s harder on you than it is on them.
I think if you’ve got a kid that really wants to come home the first couple of weeks, there’s no shame in that. And if they need to come home, they come home.
Cause I I’ve had some friends, kids that they needed to come home. You know what? Not everyone needs to go off and have that experience. I really wanted that for my kids.
And then I was like, why did I do this? I want them at home. Like, why did I encourage this?
So I think, you know, different kids have different personalities. So, you know, and try and I know that the colleges now are really big on mental health, you know, and just, it’s I’ll just ask my kids, how’s your mental health? You good? They’re like, you’re so weird. Why can’t you ask like subtle questions?
Kirsten Maxwell
Now, totally normal.
Meagan Wristen
I’m like, I’m not a subtle person, so.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. And you got to let your kids lead. Like you said, like if they want, they’re like, I’m not feeling this right now. I just need weekend at home. Let them come home. So, you know, granted.
Meagan Wristen
And brace yourself. There will be times when they’re upset and you cannot get to them.
It might be a week before you can get there or a week before you can fly them home or whatever. And that sucks. But that’s also life.
And, you know, OU has a resource.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. It’s health problems in a day.
Meagan Wristen
So there’s a lady that I can call if my kid’s upset.
Kirsten Maxwell
Well, that’s nice. wow I love that.
Meagan Wristen
They don’t have that at UT.
Kirsten Maxwell
No. I don’t remember us having it either. Yeah.
Meagan Wristen
Yeah. So, you know, i don’t know. There’s, there’s so many different things that are going to come up and it will be stressful off and on and just take a beat, get everybody deserves grace.
You know, if they call you super du drunk, just, you know, record it.
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah, there you go. Yeah, we we we have an Uber allowance for our kids so that they always know that that’s available to them and they should never ever feel like they need to drink and drive or ah ah ride with somebody who’s been drinking and driving.
So again, have those conversations with your kids.
Make sure they’re not going into it, you know, blind.
Meagan Wristen
You know, and for my daughter, i was worried about the date rape drugs and stuff. And, you know, you don’t take a drink from somebody you don’t know.
And look, I was in a sorority and I was around the fraternities all the time. And you knew not to drink the trash can punch because they might have peed in it. So, you know, you might want to tell your kiddo, by the way, if you don’t know what they put in it,
Kirsten Maxwell
Yeah. You don’t drink it.
Meagan Wristen
Don’t drink it.
Kirsten Maxwell
That’s right.
Meagan Wristen
anyway, on that note, yeah.
Kirsten Maxwell
Okay. Well, I hope everybody learned something on this call today.
So, you know, we’re glad to be back and recording. So look for another episode in the near future.